Writing

I’ve been writing comedy online since 2012. Here are some of the projects I’ve worked on.

The Bunion

As a college sophomore, I created The Bunion, Boston University’s student humor magazine. (I’ve never called it a “humor magazine” until now, but someone added it to a Wikipedia page of college humor magazines, so I guess that’s the official term.)

The school’s own news site published a story about it: Bunion: BU’s Own Onion

The Onion

In 2014, I began contributing to The Onion, starting with headlines and eventually infographic features material, American Voices, and other various projects including contributions to the 2017 Harper Design published book, The Trump Leaks: The Onion Exposes the Top Secret Memos, Emails, and Doodles That Could Take Down a President.

Some Sample Onion Headlines:

• Area Man Having One Of His Little Bursts Of Energy Where He Tries To Write A Song

• Dinner Party Conducting Full-Scale Investigation To Determine If Tip Was Included

• Vatican City Zoo Struggling To Breed First Angel In Captivity

• Frustrated Dad At Restaurant Just Wants A Normal Burger

• Adele Postpones Vegas Residency Rather Than Give Up Seat At Hot Slot Machine

• Relieved Ecologists Announce Rising Sea Levels Were Due To Clump Of Hair Clogging Drain At Bottom of Ocean

• Man Longingly Imagines What Life Would Be Like If Pizza Deliveryman Outside Building Were Here For Him

• Company’s Holiday Party Moves Up Timeline For Bankruptcy By 4 Months

• Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy

• TheOnion.com Has Been Designated As A Pandemic Shelter In The Event That Covid-19 Could Spread Through The Internet

  • This article was also adapted into a story for The Topical, a daily podcast produced by The Onion from 2020-2021.

Hard Drive

In 2019, I became an editor at Hard Drive, an offshoot of punk-satire website The Hard Times focused on video games.

Hard Drive has received positive press from various online outlets, notably VICE: The ‘Hard Drive’ Became The Onion of Video Games by Being ‘Unapologetically Left-Wing’

Some Sample Hard Drive Articles:

• Zelda Dungeon Boss Can’t Believe He Accidentally Locked Himself Behind Giant Door

• The Story Behind Nintendo’s Agreement to Send Game Boy Camera Data to the FBI

• Game’s Lore Goes to Painstaking Lengths to Explain Why Bad Guys Have Glowing Red Eyes

• Man Uses Last Cheat Code to Set Game Genie Free

• Open World Game Praised for Realistic Weather Effects That Give You Seasonal Depression

• Gamers Reflect On E3’s Humble Beginnings as Trade Show Designed to Help Huge Corporations Sell More Video Games

• Gamer Has Heard Good Things About ‘Super Mario Bros.’ But Never Played It

• Nintendo Announces New Charmander Evolution ‘Gerrymander’ That’s Unbeatable Due to Its Ability to Randomly Change the Rules of Battle

• Heavily Discounted Game Must Not Be Fun Anymore

• Mario Just Grabbed a Fire Flower — Here’s What You Need to Know

Ace Watkins

As part of the Hard Drive team I co-created the viral political satire character Ace Watkins, “the only Gamer running for President of the United States”, portrayed by comedian Phil Jamesson. I served as co-writer of the character’s tweets, speeches, and interviews. Ace amassed a following of over 200,000 people online during the 2020 election cycle, delivering stump speeches to cheering crowds at New York City Comic Con and PAX East in Boston.

My Twitter Account

is private.

My Bluesky Account

is public, because there’s no private mode there yet.